Genome Sequencing for the People

This is why I love technology. And scientists.

Some smart dudes at Harvard developed a new process that cuts the costs of sequencing a human genome to 1/9th of its current cost of $20 million. Now, for a paltry $2.2 million, you can have your own genome sequenced.

So, to start off with, we’ll have a database with just Bill Gates, Michael Jackson, and Tom Cruise in it, but think long term. Technology always advances. Prices will continue to come down. The current researchers who came up with the process says the capital investment to get started with their system is $140,000. In terms of starting up a business, it costs more to set up a Wendy’s franchise or build a cheap home.

And who wouldn’t want their very own DNA sequence? Think about it. It’s a hell of a lot better than something impersonal like real estate on the moon or the naming rights to a star. It’s YOU. It’s your ticket to living forever. Yeah, it’s a little more expensive at the moment than raising a kid and all, but at the end of the day, the kid has only half your genetic material, and you can’t (yet) determine which bits.

Think of the possibilities. Say the price falls to a grand. Thousands of people sequence themselves, then millions. In the interest of furthering research, scientists ask people to donate their results to a huge international database to learn more about the differences between people and how the genome works. Most people don’t, but quite a few will. Then come the search engines. “GoogleDNA”. Want to find someone on the planet with your nose? How about finding someone with the exact same strange birthmark? Think those eyes are unique? Think of all the fun you could have with “Six Degrees of Separation”… “How Many Sequences are you off from Albert Einstein?” Entire game shows will be spawned.

And then comes the genetic modification. Let’s say you got a hold of the sequence for Angeline Jolie’s lips, or Paul Newman’s eyes. A little gene therapy, and presto change-o, pappa’s got a brand new bag. I’ll bet you Ron Jeremy’s selling a certain part of his sequence on the Internet in less than five years. They will exhume Einstein, John Holmes, Rita Hayworth, and eventually some sicko will sequence Hitler.

People will be able to mix ‘n match their perfect selves and head to the gene clinic: “I’ll have the Jolie lips, the J-Lo ass, and gimme those Jessica Simpson boobs. ” Celebrity sequence licensing will surpass merchandising rights as the most valuable Hollywood assets as thousands of men who couldn’t afford anything else walk around with genetically identical penises.

Damn I love science.